My Husband – a short story

In nature it is delightfully calm after a storm, and so it was with us. Even though I was generally suffering from my injuries I always savored those violence-free times of calm and tried to eke them out to make them last as long as possible. The period after The Event was especially sweet although I knew, from the onset, that it was transient. What made it extra special was that I also knew that it was to be the last.

The Event had temporarily sobered him. Perhaps the shear impact of the violence and cleanup affected him; with the result that he spent more time than usual at home. He still jogged in the morning, and I loved to lie on the bed and watch him get up. He slept in the nude so that I could admire his beautiful body. When he arose and donned his jogging paraphernalia I’d watch the ripple of every well-toned muscle. During this period, after The Event, he would reach over and gently stroke my glossy hair before he left. While he was gone I’d arise and prepare myself for the day so that when he came back I could greet him at the door and give him a taste of my feigned love. For, yes, after The Event it was feigned, although sometimes I, with my newfound resolve, still got temporarily sucked into his charm. I made a rule for myself that, even though it disgusted me, I should greet him when he returned from his run. I would let myself rub against his wet skin to seal the illusion of my undying adoration.

We always ate breakfast together, he a bowl of cereal and milk, and I, milk. After he left for work I’d go for a walk, often a very long walk. Sometimes I’d be gone all day, involved in other activites, but I made sure that I was home, groomed and waiting at the door, when he returned in the evening. At first, after The Event, he would arrive home early so that we could sit together on the sofa and watch television. His taste didn’t match mine but I pretended to watch with him. Sometimes I even sat on his knee although I could tell that he didn’t like this much.

Soon, as I had suspected, he began to slip into his old habits. It began by his returning in the evening with alcohol on his breath. I suppose that he was dropping in on a bar to have a couple of drinks on the way home. On these occasions I continued to meet him at the door. I silently braved his off-time kicks, in my desire to maintain the illusion of my uncompromised love. It got even harder when he began to bring girls back with him. Before The Event he had never brought them to the house although I knew, knew only too well, that he was unfaithful to me. Now, I suppose, he thought that he could do anything, even flaunt these women before me. I pretended I didn’t care and greeted them with the same appearance of affection as I did him.

The moment after The Event, I knew what I had to do, although I hadn’t any idea how I would accomplish it. Over the weeks of the calm I had time to work out a strategy. It all hinged on his indulging in another drinking spree for only then would he be vulnerable enough for me to entice him into his basement. The trick was going to be how I could avoid getting hurt again during the encounter. The basement was quite small, more undercroft than a true basement with only one, very small, ventilation louver. During the calm I spent some time digging in the garden to make sure that the ventilation louver was completely covered in dirt. Initially he kept this lower level locked but he took to storing his alcohol down there and as time went on he became careless so that when he was out I could go down and inspect it.

It was as I expected, and smelt musty with a distinct odor of rotting which was not well disguised by the two by six rectangle of newly dug earth in the middle of the otherwise well packed earthen floor. It was that spot which had concluded the activities associated with The Event. He had a few bottles of water stored down there. I made sure that they were all broken and spilt. I even destroyed the whiskey bottle from which he had imbibed immediately after The Event. Sometimes I would sit on the slightly mounded dirt gaining strength and resolve from it. It took me several weeks to modify the support to the rustic wooden access stairs, but by the time he was bringing the women back to the house, they were so rickety that I knew that they would soon collapse. I half hoped that he would take one of his women down when he went for another bottle, thinking that their combined weight might cause a collapse.

I was patient, very patient and one day in late October I knew that my moment arrived. He came home much later than usual and was as inebriated as he was on the day of The Event. In the end I didn’t have to do anything; he did it all himself. As he lumbered down the rickety stairs I heard them groan and collapse. He yelled as he fell and was then silent. I had him. I backed up against the basement door and heard it give a loud click. For several days I heard him moaning and complaining but the sound was muffled on the outside by my carefully placed dirt and on the inside it didn’t matter. After a week I was convinced that he was dead and that I needed to let someone know.

I slipped outside and sat upon the front doorstep and started to wail. The mailman noticed me but at first he did nothing. At the end of the second week the mail and newspapers had accumulated and even he began to look concerned. When the police arrived I rubbed up against them wailing miserably.

“Here Kitty Kitty, what’s the matter? Where are your master and mistress?”

I answered by arching against their shins and followed them into the house. I waited by the basement door but it was the last one that they opened. The smell emerging was strong and even I had to draw back. A ladder was brought and they examined his body which lay on top of my grave. I didn’t stay to watch the exhumation of my murdered human body but glided away to live the rest of my lives in peace.

Copyright © Jane Stansfeld, October, 2013

The Glass Box – a poem

Man boxed in glass,
Looks out, and daily renews fragile panes,
To protect himself from outer beings.
Oft-times he takes a shard of life
Within his glassy void.
But casual contacts, made and broken,
Superficial people wafting by
All evaporate beside his vacuum.
For, his barrier, a thousand people
Met and daily touched,
Are transient subjects of study,
For him to see, map, and criticize
From behind impenetrable glass.
So all pass on and leave,
A hermit crab, his shell

When we try with upturned eye,
To return the piercing stare,
To contact that person beyond,
We find a mirror.
In it, an image of our desire,
Reflected back, attractive.
Temporarily happy, we step closer,
Deceived by one-way glass,
We sail in a wave of joy.
But behind, he smiles
Knowing us from our emotions easily seen,
Worn for him to turn and use,
Destroyed to protect the lethal panes
Keeping him alone, protected,
And we, outside, denuded.

But, maybe, if you’re lucky,
You may step so close,
That by a glint of light,
You catch a fleeting glimpse
Through protective films.
Then, use your knowledge,
Protect yourself,
For, nothing breaks the panes,
Not even steel can get within.
All evaporate, love petrified,
Bereft of tenderness,
Turns, to reinforce the box,
As he, alone, within,
Sits and studies people,
By reflections, easily cast,
Upon his box.

© Copyright, October, 2013, Jane Stansfeld

The package – a short story

When Mr. Jones died and Mrs. Jones retired she retreated more and more into her home. She took to making the majority of her purchases online. Each time that a new package arrived she carried it into her kitchen and opened it reverently, like a precious Christmas gift. She always marveled at the clean brown boxes with their neat ninety degree corners and pristine cardboard. When Mr. Jones had been alive he would rip open the crisp parcels with relentless speed in his urgency to unveil his new acquisitions; now, Mrs. Jones took her time opening the bundles, taking extreme care to preserve the packaging.

One day, when her neighbors, the McKinley’s, were out-of-town the brown UPS truck stopped outside their homes and when they were unable to make a delivery next-door, the uniformed delivery person rang the Jones door bell. Mrs. Jones hesitatingly opened up.

“Good afternoon, ma’am; would you take a delivery for the McKinleys?”

Now Mrs. Jones didn’t like taking deliveries for her neighbors for it meant that later on in the day she would have to make herself presentable so that she could complete the delivery, but she nodded and accepted the proffered package. The delivery person lingered after he had handed over the package, he backed up a few steps stood on her porch and looked intently at her.

“You’d better watch that one carefully. It made our whole truck stink. Can’t imagine what’s inside?”

His pose and comment seem to imply that he expected Mrs. Jones to know what it contained or, at least, what to do with it. Mrs. Jones was hardly listening to him and merely stood clasping the package, hoping that he would go away. When the man was unable to engage her in conversation he turned and sprinted up her drive to his vehicle. She quietly closed and locked the door.

She put the box on her hall table in readiness for her to take it next-door in the evening. She went back to reading a book in her living room. Soon an obnoxious smell began to waft through the house. Mrs. Jones put down her book and went to the hall table. The box sat innocently on the table and she gave it a more thorough inspection. It was cube shaped, about a foot in each direction. Unlike most packages, it looked grubby and worn on the outside. She picked it up and estimated it to weigh several pounds. She shook it, holding it close to her ear, but nothing rattled inside. She examined the label, but most of the shipper information was obscured by dirt. As far as she could tell the package came from the United Kingdom. One word stood out “LIVE,” but Mrs. Jones could not decipher either the words before or after it.

Mrs. Jones called her daughter to ask her whether she could think of anything which could travel through the mail “live” and not rattle. After discussion, they both surmised that the smell could only mean that what was “live” was now dead. They discussed whether Mrs. Jones should refrigerate the package or place it in the garage or even outside, anywhere where the smell would not permeate the house.

Mrs. Jones decided on the garage option and after she had placed the unwanted package next to her car she opened the windows to fumigate her home. When the air seemed clearer she closed the doors and windows and, feeling more secure, returned to her book.

But the stench still managed to enter the house. Mrs. Jones went into the garage and stood arms akimbo to stare at it. She wanted to open it but something held her back. It was probably not respect for her neighbor’s privacy, but more a belief that the box was some kind of test perhaps akin the Pandora’s box. And last she took it outside and put it on top of her dustbin. She spoke to it,

“Well, you two can stink together!”

She returned to her book and, as she read, dozed off. She dreamed of boxes of dead worms, after all the McKinleys were avid anglers, shaking her head for surely even dead worms would rattle. She dreamed of a kidnapping in which Mr. McKinley’s right thumb, well-packed in bubble wrap, was mailed to his home, shaking her head for even Mr. McKinley’s thumb wouldn’t weigh several pounds. She dreamed of a box of maggots and awoke in a sweat.

That evening she put on make-up and clean jeans and when she heard the McKinley’s car pull into their drive she darted out to retrieve the box. She carried it over to their house and rang their door bell. Mrs. McKinley answered the ring. She smiled when she saw the package and inhaled the smell.

“Oh thank you!” she exclaimed with glee. “It has arrived at last. What a delicious smell. I can’t wait to eat some on crackers.”

“Excuse me?” questioned her neighbor.

“Stilton.” She breathed in deeply as if to get and extra waft of the box. “It’s my live blue stilton. We get one every year direct from the UK. Quite delicious! This one smells divine. You must come over and join us when we enjoy eating it.”

Mrs. Jones shook her head and hurried home.

Copyright © October, 2013 Jane Stansfeld.

Roadside – a poem

Every Austin, Texas October heralds in a profusion of tall wayside Maximillian Sunflowers. When they burst into bloom I marvel at their beauty and wonder how many, speeding past in their transport, miss this wayside marvel, just as we all miss the smaller blossoms underfoot.

Do we know where we are going?
And if we knew, is it worth knowing?
Radio blaring, I yap on the phone
I never want to be alone.
Air conditioned, fast, do I see,
Beauty in the path ahead of me?

Nature waits patient to be found.
When did I last step on bare ground?
I hurry, blind, thro’ street and lane.
I miss much, ne’er to be seen again.
October’s flowers wave from the side,
I pass all by in my cocoon’d ride.

Later I look at paintings fair,
Read poems of beauty everywhere
Yet, I still travel, unseeing by,
Roadside beauty ne’er wink of eye.
At forty miles an hour I zoom,
Glancing see a wayside bloom.

Sunflowers today in brilliant show
Yellow banks align the place I go.
But, if I walked this path at all,
I’d see the delicate and small
Miracles of light and worth
Bursting joyful from the earth.

If I walked along the way,
What would nature to me say?
Would I be closer to her skirt?
Would I commune with dusty dirt?
Would this conscious act of going
Be the very thing worth knowing?

© Copyright, October, 2013, Jane Stansfeld