Leap at the Grand Canyon – a short story.

“Don’t jump, don’t jump,” Bryan’s voice was coaxingly gentle.

It was the sweltering hot summer of 1966, and he didn’t want to frighten the girl because she was sitting so close to the rim. One false move and she would be over. Bryan recalled his training as a park ranger in which they were given counsel on how to spot and respond to visitors who appeared to be intent on suicide. Their training ranged from learning to look at steering wheels in parked cars for last adieu notes; to spotting people standing on the rim contemplating their jump. The girl’s proximity to the rim and her pose fit the description of someone about to leap.

Bryan loved the splendor of the Grand Canyon and had often wondered why it attracted suicides. Was it the steep drop with its promise of an answer to the nagging question of what goes through one’s mind as one hurtles through space into oblivion? Happy though Bryan was, he had entertained this thought himself, and had often spent time on the rim pondering what thoughts would pass through his mind and whether time would move slowly as it was purported to do at such critical moments. Or, he wondered, would the fall be so quick that one would scarcely have time to reason. The answer had never seemed important enough for him to jump.

Bryan also knew that some authorities maintain that the suicides are attracted to the beauty of the Grand Canyon wishing to meet their end in a place flooded with the serenity of nature and the vastness of the universe. He wondered whether the awesome impact of the place somehow brought the suicides closer to the finality of what they were about to do and, in doing so, gave them courage and peace. Long ago, he had determined that he, like most people, preferred to admire the beauty rather than embrace it.

The girl had started when he spoke, but otherwise ignored him. She was sitting on a small box-like suitcase approximately one foot square. She had her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees, almost Rodin’s thinker’s pose. She wore an unusually immaculately clean white shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. Her arms and legs were long and tanned golden. Her hair hung in two fat ginger braids down her back. Her form was silhouetted, golden, in the oblique rays of setting sun on the west side of the canyon. Bryan cautiously stepped closer and made his voice as tender as possible.

“Don’t jump, don’t jump,” he urged.

This time she responded and turned to face him. “I’m not going to jump.” Her voice was melodious with a distinct English accent. He stepped closer so that he could reach and touch her or restrain her if she tried to jump. “Then, why don’t you move a little further back?” he pleaded, “Then I could sit beside you – that’s if you don’t mind.” She rose and, for a split second, Bryan thought that she was going to jump; but she turned and picked up her makeshift seat and moved it a few feet back from the rim next to a large boulder. She didn’t look at Bryan merely took up her seated position again. Bryan followed her cue and sat on the boulder beside her.

Sunset in the Grand Canyon is stunning as the oblique golden rays silhouette individual rock formations teasing glorious color from their forms. For some time they sat beside each other marveling at the beauty before them and watching the depths gradually disappear into the shadows below. As they watched, Bryan still wondered whether she was contemplating suicide and had merely delayed things to placate him. He had watched the sunset over the Canyon many times, always with a sense of wonder; but this time his heart pounded unnaturally whether because he sat next to a potential suicide, or because she was so young and beautiful or perhaps a combination of these factors. When the sun finally dipped below the horizon, he looked at her again. She was now more erect and was rubbing her hands together in an action which conveyed an anxious mind.

“Don’t think about jumping. Please don’t jump. Tell me how I can help.”

This time that she spoke her voice was matter-of-fact and a little dismissive “Don’t worry; I’m not going to jump. I came to see the Grand Canyon and marvel at its beauty. I have no intention of jumping.”

“That’s good to hear, but you do seem worried. I’m right you are worried aren’t you?” She gave a slight affirmative nod, so he pressed on “Tell me what’s wrong, perhaps I can help?”

She now turned and looked him in the face, “You are right. I am worried, but not what you might think. I am only worrying about where I shall spend the night.”

Her eyes were like deep pools, as dark as the shadows in the canyon. Bryan was drawn in, “What do you mean? There is lodging on this side of the Canyon.”

She nodded, “I know, but everything is full, even the camp sites. You see I came in with friends on the bus which arrived at three this afternoon and the last bus back to Flagstaff left at five. They took it but I couldn’t entertain the thought of coming so far and only staying two hours so, although I could not find accommodation, I could not leave on that bus.”

“You couldn’t find lodging anywhere?” There was a hint of disbelief in his questioning voice.

“No, everything’s full. I should have booked a long time in advance but that wasn’t to be. I’m a little worried, perhaps even scared but,” here she intensified her gaze, “I’m sure I’ll be okay.”

“You are going to be okay because you can stay in the ranger’s cabin.” Bryan knew that this was against rules, but he had to offer. Surely, he thought, some rules are made to be broken.

For a moment she was silent and looked back over the Canyon. Then she turned to look at him again, perhaps really seeing him for the first time, “Thank you. That’s very generous, but you realize…..”

“Yes, yes,” he interrupted, “you will be fine, I’ve got a sleeping bag, I will sleep outside. No one will hurt you! You can trust me! By the way, my name is Bryan.”

“Mary,” she stretched out her hand for a handshake, “pleased to meet you.”

Bryan felt a tingle of pleasure as their hands touched. He was glad that it was now dark so that she couldn’t see his flushed face. He spoke again, surprised at how husky his voice sounded, “Now that the sun has set why don’t we go back to the cabins? We are having a hot dog cook-out this evening I invite you to join us.”

Mary acquiesced. Together, they followed the rim until they came to the place where the park rangers had set up their hot dog picnic. Eyebrows were raised as the other rangers were introduced but Bryan protected Mary as though she were his sister. The night was balmy and the stars bright, the sort of night when a boy and girl can fall in love. They talked all evening as they discovered more and more reasons to justify their mutual attraction. Mary told him that she was an English architectural student travelling the US on a greyhound ninety-nine dollar, ninety-nine day pass. Bryan was astonished for he was also an architectural student and was working as a ranger over the summer. When she told him of her home town of Durham he knew the cathedral and told her that he fully intended to visit it the following summer. She told him that she would love to host him when he came.

When they turned in Bryan kept his word and escorted Mary to his bunk in the cabin without making an advance although he dearly wished to kiss her. It took him some time to fall asleep on the ground in his sleeping bag but sleep he did.

They were in Durham Cathedral it was as magnificent as Bryan had learned from his architectural history classes. The giant carved stone aisle columns rising to the stone vaults above and the east-end rose window casting an eerie light. They held hands as they went to the north-west corner of the north transept and bought tickets to the tower from the red-robed verger. They almost ran up the stone steps until they came to the attic over the roof. Here they paused to wonder at this space as they followed the way to the last stairs up the tower located immediately over the crossing. The tower stairs were steep and narrow. Each tread was worn into a concave dip by the passage of many feet. Mary went first, Bryan followed behind. A final twist and they passed through a narrow door onto the gallery on the top of the tower. Mary took his hand and led him around pointing out landmarks in all directions; her home, the castle, the river, the market. A breeze came up and she stood with her face into the wind and loosened her hair so that it flowed behind her. Then she took his hand and climbed up onto the parapet. They stood together leaning slightly into the wind. Bryan murmured,

“Don’t jump, don’t jump!” But he already knew that they were going to jump.

Her eyes sparkled, her voice teased, “Yes, jump, jump!” and she swung up her arms as she leapt. Bryan went with her. They floated gently down and all he could think about was how happy he was to be holding her hand. For a moment everything went blank; and then his body shook and he felt a gentle kiss on his face, and then on his lips. He wondered if this was the kiss of death, thinking that it was too enjoyable to be death.. He could still feel her hand, but it was backward. He opened his eyes. Her face was next to his, ever so close, her hand clasped in his. He was lying on the ground. “Where am I?” he asked.

“Good morning!’ she laughed, “You are here in a sleeping bag on the top of the Grand Canyon. Thanks to you, I had a great night and managed to rise in time to catch the dawn over the Canyon. It was magnificent. Sitting on our boulder listening to the birdsong and watching the sun picking out individual formations filled me with the wonder and love of life. It made me realize how lucky I am and how special you are, Bryan.”

Bryan breathed in her vitality and vigor. He sat, releasing her hand and took her in his arms. He grinned, “Yes,” he murmured, “good morning. It is a good morning isn’t it?’ He hesitated, and gently commented, “I was dreaming. I was dreaming about you, Mary, and about Durham Cathedral.”

Mary waited while he dressed and prepared for the day. She planned on a short hike down the canyon with a return in time for the five pm bus to Flagstaff; and he had to take up his Ranger duties; but they found time to return to their boulder for a few minutes. As they sat filled with wonder at the scene before them they both realized that they had jumped. The leap which they had taken would be as life changing as a jump off the rim, although it promised to be infinitely more enjoyable.

© Copyright, Jane Stansfeld, November 2013

Forever Autumn – a poem.

Recently some friends invited us to a “forever autumn” themed evening. I contributed this light hearted poem.

I, autumn, distain my sisters, three
Not one of you as good as me!
I point at my bountiful harvest fare
Look what I produce to share
Fields waving with golden grain,
Riches are my echoed refrain
Orchards full of fruited trees,
Honeycombs gifted by the bees.
Don’t even consider the rest
Forever autumn, I’m the best.

Now winter you banish green,
Perhaps as pretty as a dream
You substitute snow and ice,
But how can they call you nice?
Nothing to eat, ground as stone,
Fast becoming skin and bone
Without my bounty all would cry.
Foodless, nothing to do, but die.
Don’t even consider the rest
Forever autumn, I’m the best.

Spring you come far too late
Life awakes to procreate
Promises to challenge my stored fare,
Blossoms and green shoots everywhere.
Your promise nascent new life
Foodless this only means strife
Your bounty a future lure
The living need so much more.
Don’t even consider the rest
Forever autumn, I’m the best.

Summer with your heat and sun
You smother with frolicking fun
Throughout each dreamy day
Wash away cares you say,
Field and groves growing well
These are lies that you tell
It’s my harvest; that you know
When all you do is help it grow.
Don’t even consider the rest
Forever autumn, I’m the best.

© Copyright, October 2013, Jane Stansfeld

The Nightingale’s Rose – a short story

This story picks up at the conclusion of Oscar Wilde’s short story “The Nightingale and the Rose.” Oscar Wilde’s story is a beautiful, hauntingly sad tale it can be found on this link: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/NigRos.shtml. Wilde’s story tells of a nightingale who voluntarily impales herself on a fatal rose bush thorn and sings all night until death to enable the bush to produce a red rose for a young student to give to his beloved. The concluding pathos comes when the student picks the rose and offers it to his beloved to have it, and his love, rejected and thrown aside.

Presently a wind came up from the west. It had begun far away as a gentle breeze, but when the white moon lingered in her delight at the nightingale’s death love song, it had intensified. Now it rustled all in its path. When it came upon a crushed, abandoned red rose in the gutter, it marveled at such vibrant beauty and the intensity of color, for the wind understood romantic love. First it caressed the remnants of the rose in a swirling eddy, then it lifted it and separated the red petals, swirling them into a brilliant blood-red column. As it carried them, love permeated its essence and it knew that it had to return them to their origin.

When it came to the garden, the wind heard the rose bush moaning, “The little nightingale gave her life-blood to pigment my rose. It was my best flower, a rose so red, so beautiful, that it was plucked at noon by the student to give to the professor’s daughter that she might dance with him at the Prince’s ball.” The rose bush shook all its branches in disbelief and continued, “She rejected his rose, rejected the rose of nightingale’s blood, in favor of the Chamberlain’s nephew’s jewels, and now the student is lost. Lost, for he has abandoned romance in favor of the dry logic of philosophy.”

While the wind played in the rose bush’s branches, it wept on, “Oh, wind, I weep for the heroic little nightingale, for the sweet nocturnal singer lying dead in the long grass. Tell me, you who move everywhere, was this, indeed, all for nothing?” The wind whistled soothingly and rocked the rose bush in an embrace and gently deposited the petals in the long grass over the nightingale’s tiny body. One loose petal draped over the thorn in her breast, the thorn which had penetrated her heart.

A young maid servant lived in a garret over the student’s room. All night she had listened to the nightingale’s romantic love song. She heard and understood the song of the heart of love, the song of a boy and a girl. At times she stood at her open window gazing into the night air, trying to see the bird. The song intensified her own love, and she cried soft tears into her pillow. She prayed to the bird,

“Oh, Nightingale, may your song touch the student’s heart so that he may see me. You sing outside his window, might not your song alert him of my love?”

In the morning, she sadly got up and went to work. After her daily duties were completed she slipped down into the garden. First she visited the holm-oak tree and asked it where she could find the nightingale, for she wished to thank the bird for its song. The holm-oak responded, “The little nightingale, who sang of love, sacrificed her life to create a red rose for the student to give to his love, the professor’s daughter, so that she would dance with him at the Prince’s ball.” It waved its leaves and wept because it was fond of the little nightingale who had nested it its branches. “Perhaps the rose bush can help you.”

The girl went to the rose bush under the student’s window and found the dead nightingale lying in the long grass under a mound of blood-red rose petals. She cradled the dead body in her hand and stroked the soft brown feathers on its tiny head, and brushed its body with the silken red rose petals. Then she touched its throat and beak with her long finger and lifted its body to her face, “Oh, nightingale,” she said, “your song of love and your sacrifice of your life cannot have been in vain. I shall bury you shrouded in the blood-red rose petals of love.”

The girl fetched a small trowel and dug a grave under the rose bush, and, as she knelt and worked she sang a eulogy to the little nightingale, her voice crystal and clear, echoing into the purple cavern in the hills and floating through the reeds of the river to be carried down to the sea.

Her song echoed that of the nightingale, and she also sang of the birth of love in the heart of a boy and a girl. She sang of the birth of passion in the soul of a man and a maid. Fervently, and sadly, she repeated the message that the little nightingale had given, and she sang of the love which is perfected by Death, the Love that dies not in the tomb.

The wind heard her song and lifted one of the loose rose petals and carried it into the window of the student’s room. It landed on his open philosophy book. The student touched the petal and, as he listened, he opened his heart to the joy of life, to the delight in living, to the enchantment of romance and art. “This voice has form and feeling,” he said to himself, as he walked towards his open window, “the world seems to have stopped to listen, just as I do now. Surely, after all there is a practical use for art.” He looked out of his window and saw the servant girl silhouetted by the setting sun as she knelt and sang at her task. The wind lifted her hair and it shone brilliantly.

He was about to call to her when he heard the sound of a carriage rattling down the road. There was the bejeweled professor’s daughter riding next to the Chamberlain’s nephew with his silver buckled shoes. Their angry voices carried in the evening air, for they were quarreling about the need for a shawl. The student understood the logic of needing a shawl on a cool evening, but, he said to himself, “They quarrel on the way to the ball; their night is doomed by practicality.”

For a while the student was silent as he opened his mind to new possibilities and then he spoke to himself again, “I, on the other hand,” and he gazed down at the singing girl, “I, on the other hand, have true beauty, love, and art at my feet.”

© Copyright, Jane Stansfeld, November 18, 2013

My Husband – a short story

In nature it is delightfully calm after a storm, and so it was with us. Even though I was generally suffering from my injuries I always savored those violence-free times of calm and tried to eke them out to make them last as long as possible. The period after The Event was especially sweet although I knew, from the onset, that it was transient. What made it extra special was that I also knew that it was to be the last.

The Event had temporarily sobered him. Perhaps the shear impact of the violence and cleanup affected him; with the result that he spent more time than usual at home. He still jogged in the morning, and I loved to lie on the bed and watch him get up. He slept in the nude so that I could admire his beautiful body. When he arose and donned his jogging paraphernalia I’d watch the ripple of every well-toned muscle. During this period, after The Event, he would reach over and gently stroke my glossy hair before he left. While he was gone I’d arise and prepare myself for the day so that when he came back I could greet him at the door and give him a taste of my feigned love. For, yes, after The Event it was feigned, although sometimes I, with my newfound resolve, still got temporarily sucked into his charm. I made a rule for myself that, even though it disgusted me, I should greet him when he returned from his run. I would let myself rub against his wet skin to seal the illusion of my undying adoration.

We always ate breakfast together, he a bowl of cereal and milk, and I, milk. After he left for work I’d go for a walk, often a very long walk. Sometimes I’d be gone all day, involved in other activites, but I made sure that I was home, groomed and waiting at the door, when he returned in the evening. At first, after The Event, he would arrive home early so that we could sit together on the sofa and watch television. His taste didn’t match mine but I pretended to watch with him. Sometimes I even sat on his knee although I could tell that he didn’t like this much.

Soon, as I had suspected, he began to slip into his old habits. It began by his returning in the evening with alcohol on his breath. I suppose that he was dropping in on a bar to have a couple of drinks on the way home. On these occasions I continued to meet him at the door. I silently braved his off-time kicks, in my desire to maintain the illusion of my uncompromised love. It got even harder when he began to bring girls back with him. Before The Event he had never brought them to the house although I knew, knew only too well, that he was unfaithful to me. Now, I suppose, he thought that he could do anything, even flaunt these women before me. I pretended I didn’t care and greeted them with the same appearance of affection as I did him.

The moment after The Event, I knew what I had to do, although I hadn’t any idea how I would accomplish it. Over the weeks of the calm I had time to work out a strategy. It all hinged on his indulging in another drinking spree for only then would he be vulnerable enough for me to entice him into his basement. The trick was going to be how I could avoid getting hurt again during the encounter. The basement was quite small, more undercroft than a true basement with only one, very small, ventilation louver. During the calm I spent some time digging in the garden to make sure that the ventilation louver was completely covered in dirt. Initially he kept this lower level locked but he took to storing his alcohol down there and as time went on he became careless so that when he was out I could go down and inspect it.

It was as I expected, and smelt musty with a distinct odor of rotting which was not well disguised by the two by six rectangle of newly dug earth in the middle of the otherwise well packed earthen floor. It was that spot which had concluded the activities associated with The Event. He had a few bottles of water stored down there. I made sure that they were all broken and spilt. I even destroyed the whiskey bottle from which he had imbibed immediately after The Event. Sometimes I would sit on the slightly mounded dirt gaining strength and resolve from it. It took me several weeks to modify the support to the rustic wooden access stairs, but by the time he was bringing the women back to the house, they were so rickety that I knew that they would soon collapse. I half hoped that he would take one of his women down when he went for another bottle, thinking that their combined weight might cause a collapse.

I was patient, very patient and one day in late October I knew that my moment arrived. He came home much later than usual and was as inebriated as he was on the day of The Event. In the end I didn’t have to do anything; he did it all himself. As he lumbered down the rickety stairs I heard them groan and collapse. He yelled as he fell and was then silent. I had him. I backed up against the basement door and heard it give a loud click. For several days I heard him moaning and complaining but the sound was muffled on the outside by my carefully placed dirt and on the inside it didn’t matter. After a week I was convinced that he was dead and that I needed to let someone know.

I slipped outside and sat upon the front doorstep and started to wail. The mailman noticed me but at first he did nothing. At the end of the second week the mail and newspapers had accumulated and even he began to look concerned. When the police arrived I rubbed up against them wailing miserably.

“Here Kitty Kitty, what’s the matter? Where are your master and mistress?”

I answered by arching against their shins and followed them into the house. I waited by the basement door but it was the last one that they opened. The smell emerging was strong and even I had to draw back. A ladder was brought and they examined his body which lay on top of my grave. I didn’t stay to watch the exhumation of my murdered human body but glided away to live the rest of my lives in peace.

Copyright © Jane Stansfeld, October, 2013

The Glass Box – a poem

Man boxed in glass,
Looks out, and daily renews fragile panes,
To protect himself from outer beings.
Oft-times he takes a shard of life
Within his glassy void.
But casual contacts, made and broken,
Superficial people wafting by
All evaporate beside his vacuum.
For, his barrier, a thousand people
Met and daily touched,
Are transient subjects of study,
For him to see, map, and criticize
From behind impenetrable glass.
So all pass on and leave,
A hermit crab, his shell

When we try with upturned eye,
To return the piercing stare,
To contact that person beyond,
We find a mirror.
In it, an image of our desire,
Reflected back, attractive.
Temporarily happy, we step closer,
Deceived by one-way glass,
We sail in a wave of joy.
But behind, he smiles
Knowing us from our emotions easily seen,
Worn for him to turn and use,
Destroyed to protect the lethal panes
Keeping him alone, protected,
And we, outside, denuded.

But, maybe, if you’re lucky,
You may step so close,
That by a glint of light,
You catch a fleeting glimpse
Through protective films.
Then, use your knowledge,
Protect yourself,
For, nothing breaks the panes,
Not even steel can get within.
All evaporate, love petrified,
Bereft of tenderness,
Turns, to reinforce the box,
As he, alone, within,
Sits and studies people,
By reflections, easily cast,
Upon his box.

© Copyright, October, 2013, Jane Stansfeld

The package – a short story

When Mr. Jones died and Mrs. Jones retired she retreated more and more into her home. She took to making the majority of her purchases online. Each time that a new package arrived she carried it into her kitchen and opened it reverently, like a precious Christmas gift. She always marveled at the clean brown boxes with their neat ninety degree corners and pristine cardboard. When Mr. Jones had been alive he would rip open the crisp parcels with relentless speed in his urgency to unveil his new acquisitions; now, Mrs. Jones took her time opening the bundles, taking extreme care to preserve the packaging.

One day, when her neighbors, the McKinley’s, were out-of-town the brown UPS truck stopped outside their homes and when they were unable to make a delivery next-door, the uniformed delivery person rang the Jones door bell. Mrs. Jones hesitatingly opened up.

“Good afternoon, ma’am; would you take a delivery for the McKinleys?”

Now Mrs. Jones didn’t like taking deliveries for her neighbors for it meant that later on in the day she would have to make herself presentable so that she could complete the delivery, but she nodded and accepted the proffered package. The delivery person lingered after he had handed over the package, he backed up a few steps stood on her porch and looked intently at her.

“You’d better watch that one carefully. It made our whole truck stink. Can’t imagine what’s inside?”

His pose and comment seem to imply that he expected Mrs. Jones to know what it contained or, at least, what to do with it. Mrs. Jones was hardly listening to him and merely stood clasping the package, hoping that he would go away. When the man was unable to engage her in conversation he turned and sprinted up her drive to his vehicle. She quietly closed and locked the door.

She put the box on her hall table in readiness for her to take it next-door in the evening. She went back to reading a book in her living room. Soon an obnoxious smell began to waft through the house. Mrs. Jones put down her book and went to the hall table. The box sat innocently on the table and she gave it a more thorough inspection. It was cube shaped, about a foot in each direction. Unlike most packages, it looked grubby and worn on the outside. She picked it up and estimated it to weigh several pounds. She shook it, holding it close to her ear, but nothing rattled inside. She examined the label, but most of the shipper information was obscured by dirt. As far as she could tell the package came from the United Kingdom. One word stood out “LIVE,” but Mrs. Jones could not decipher either the words before or after it.

Mrs. Jones called her daughter to ask her whether she could think of anything which could travel through the mail “live” and not rattle. After discussion, they both surmised that the smell could only mean that what was “live” was now dead. They discussed whether Mrs. Jones should refrigerate the package or place it in the garage or even outside, anywhere where the smell would not permeate the house.

Mrs. Jones decided on the garage option and after she had placed the unwanted package next to her car she opened the windows to fumigate her home. When the air seemed clearer she closed the doors and windows and, feeling more secure, returned to her book.

But the stench still managed to enter the house. Mrs. Jones went into the garage and stood arms akimbo to stare at it. She wanted to open it but something held her back. It was probably not respect for her neighbor’s privacy, but more a belief that the box was some kind of test perhaps akin the Pandora’s box. And last she took it outside and put it on top of her dustbin. She spoke to it,

“Well, you two can stink together!”

She returned to her book and, as she read, dozed off. She dreamed of boxes of dead worms, after all the McKinleys were avid anglers, shaking her head for surely even dead worms would rattle. She dreamed of a kidnapping in which Mr. McKinley’s right thumb, well-packed in bubble wrap, was mailed to his home, shaking her head for even Mr. McKinley’s thumb wouldn’t weigh several pounds. She dreamed of a box of maggots and awoke in a sweat.

That evening she put on make-up and clean jeans and when she heard the McKinley’s car pull into their drive she darted out to retrieve the box. She carried it over to their house and rang their door bell. Mrs. McKinley answered the ring. She smiled when she saw the package and inhaled the smell.

“Oh thank you!” she exclaimed with glee. “It has arrived at last. What a delicious smell. I can’t wait to eat some on crackers.”

“Excuse me?” questioned her neighbor.

“Stilton.” She breathed in deeply as if to get and extra waft of the box. “It’s my live blue stilton. We get one every year direct from the UK. Quite delicious! This one smells divine. You must come over and join us when we enjoy eating it.”

Mrs. Jones shook her head and hurried home.

Copyright © October, 2013 Jane Stansfeld.

Roadside – a poem

Every Austin, Texas October heralds in a profusion of tall wayside Maximillian Sunflowers. When they burst into bloom I marvel at their beauty and wonder how many, speeding past in their transport, miss this wayside marvel, just as we all miss the smaller blossoms underfoot.

Do we know where we are going?
And if we knew, is it worth knowing?
Radio blaring, I yap on the phone
I never want to be alone.
Air conditioned, fast, do I see,
Beauty in the path ahead of me?

Nature waits patient to be found.
When did I last step on bare ground?
I hurry, blind, thro’ street and lane.
I miss much, ne’er to be seen again.
October’s flowers wave from the side,
I pass all by in my cocoon’d ride.

Later I look at paintings fair,
Read poems of beauty everywhere
Yet, I still travel, unseeing by,
Roadside beauty ne’er wink of eye.
At forty miles an hour I zoom,
Glancing see a wayside bloom.

Sunflowers today in brilliant show
Yellow banks align the place I go.
But, if I walked this path at all,
I’d see the delicate and small
Miracles of light and worth
Bursting joyful from the earth.

If I walked along the way,
What would nature to me say?
Would I be closer to her skirt?
Would I commune with dusty dirt?
Would this conscious act of going
Be the very thing worth knowing?

© Copyright, October, 2013, Jane Stansfeld

The future – a poem.

If I could look ahead,
See into the future,
Would I, peeping, see you?
Or would my stolen glance,
Find another’s eyes,
Gazing into mine?

© Copyright, September 2013, Jane Stansfeld

Tiddlers of Life – a short story

The old lady had been dying for years. Each time that she took to her bed her doctor, a personal friend of the family, called her son to apprise him of the event. The doctor always went to some length to explain that there was no physical reason for her malaise. In response to the news her dutiful son would immediately drop everything and pay a visit. When he arrived the old lady would insist on a morbid discussion about funerals and wills. Then, after a few weeks in her sick-bed, she would pronounce herself cured and arise to her daily routine. On the occasion of this story she had been bedridden for several months, and had been there so long that her doctor, her son, and those who knew her, had begun to believe that this time was more serious and that perhaps she was on her death-bed. Her doctor told her son that if something didn’t change the downward spiral he expected that she would soon die.

The old lady lived in a small cottage in Wisborough Green on the east side of the village green immediately across the road from the village pond. The cottage also had a good view of the stone village stone church standing behind the pond. The Wisborough Green village green is located in the center of the old village and is large. It includes cricket and soccer fields and is where that the residents hold their annual May Day festivities. On three sides the green is looped by a road with houses on the opposing side overlooking the green. On the fourth side there is a group of houses which appear to be on the green. Most village ponds are located in the main green but at Wisborough Green the pond occupies a truncated portion to the east. The old lady’s cottage was among the cluster of buildings located in the east end portion of the green.

The old lady liked to gaze out of her bedroom window across the road to the pond and beyond to the church with its surrounding graveyard and, as she gazed, she would day-dream about her funeral and where she would be buried. She liked to imagine her funeral procession, the flowers, the hymns and the eulogy. Best of all she liked to think of all her village friends weeping in the pews as they reminisced on her life. She knew that it would be a wonderful full funeral and felt proud to be part of the festivities.

To the old lady the village pond was of little interest, but to children it was a magical place with an allure of excitement. This was especially true for the two visiting granddaughters of one of the other residents of the village. Every year, when they visited, they made sure that they were allocated one treasured day to catch small fish or “tiddlers”. The day before they went out they gathered the necessary equipment. Each girl’s most important tackle was an old jam jar and some string. The string was tied around the neck of each jar so that it could be easily hauled out of the water should a luckless tiddler happen to swim inside. The only other equipment needed was a bucket into which the captured tiddlers were to be placed and some bait. The bait was not absolutely necessary but, over the years, the girls had found that pieces of chicken skin generally acted as a good lure to entice tiddlers into the jars, and to, thereby, enhance their success.

At about eleven in the morning the girls had their gear ready and put on their rubber boots. The eldest was almost twelve and the younger ten. As they left they were horrified when their mother informed them that they were to take their four-year old brother with them. They both protested but their mother was adamant that their brother would enjoy fishing and that if he didn’t go, neither would they. She also gave them strict instructions that they were to make sure that he did not fall in and that he be keep out of danger in the form of traffic on the village roads. So it was that a threesome set out walking together down the almost-deserted village road to the pond. They covered the short distance fast and quickly found a good spot, on the banks of the pond. From their vantage point they could see through the greenish pond water to the black mud at the bottom and, best of all, they could see many black and silver tiddlers darting to and fro in the water. As their excited children’s voices rose up they interrupted the old lady’s contemplation of the church and she brought her gaze to the foreground to watch the fishing activities with some interest.

It immediately became obvious to the girls that their brother was a problem. He kept on trying to get into the water. They realized that keeping him out of the water was going to be a full-time job and would greatly distract from their tiddler catching mission. Somehow, by telepathy, they decided to frighten him into submission.

The eldest told him, “Be careful, don’t go too close. A green slimy monster lives in the bottom of the pond. You do not want him to disturb him or he will get you. He eats small boys.”

The younger added, “Yes, and his hair is pond weeds and he rises up with a wail. You must not disturb him. Sometimes small boys, just like you, have disappeared. People say that it is because they put their toes in the water.”

“It is an awful way to die. No-one wants to be dragged into the murky depths of the mud in this pond. You die in the mud and they would never even find the body.”

The boy’s interest was stimulated. He liked slugs and snails and thought how wonderful it would be to see a green slimy monster. All at once his options seemed obvious and so he stood behind his oldest sister and, as she leaned over to haul up a tiddler laden jam jar, he gave her a shove. She let out a piercing scream and flailed her arms and legs out so that she landed in the water with a wholesome plop.

The noise and commotion disrupted the serenity of the village. Immediately every bird within earshot, including the ducks on the pond, became airborne each of them shrieking in their own way as they rose into the air. The bird’s shrill alarm alerted the village dogs who added their yelps to the general uproar. The village cronies in the pub immediately ejected from the public bar and walked up the street, some with their pints still in their hands, to investigate what was going on.

The dying old lady took an immediate lease of new life and got out of bed. Within seconds she was downstairs and standing at her garden gate watching the wet girl climb out of the muddy waters. She was the first adult on the scene and might have been tempted to retreat back to bed had she not been greeted by the pub cronies. They shouted her name as they arrived to see the miracle of her resurrection.

The children were oblivious to the disturbance which they had caused and gathered up their tiddler tackle and began their walk back to their grandparent’s house. The wet eldest girl was a pitiful sight with weeds hanging from her wet clothing and mud covering the lower portion of her body. The little boy mused that, perhaps, she was the alleged pond monster. As they walked back the occupants of the houses overlooking the green came out to watch. Their interest gave the scene a parade-like stance.

When the children were close to their home their grandmother came rushing out with a towel. Word had somehow traveled much more quickly than the children and she already knew what had happened. She greeted them, not with an admonition about the mishap in the pond but with the affirmation that, today, they had worked a miracle in the form of bringing an old lady back to life.

Charmer – a poem

A gouty lady came to sit,
And eat her sandwiches by me,
With a ministering husband on the go,
Then, she, casting a glance aside,
At me, then tried
To vie for my sympathy.

Did she guess from my eyes that I disapproved?
Did she know, as she looked, that I felt for him?
Did she fathom that I like the underdog?

To settle this simple score,
Her glance became a smile,
Instantly bewitched, I submit, as he,
Then she, she reading her tea cup leaves,
Told each a fortune,
And mine, that I shall also rule.

© Copyright, September, 2013, Jane Stansfeld